What if I gathered some of the best and brightest people in the movement against pornography and asked what them what parents need to know? Well, I can't take credit for gathering my guests today (that goes to the Utah Coalition Against Pornography) but I did collect their thoughts. Listen in as experts and advocates share the most important thing you need to know.
I just want to start this episode by thanking you. Thank you for listening, and for trusting my guests and I to help empower you as a parent.
I recently received another motivating review that I just wanted to share. Mamabecki said, “I stumbled across this podcast when I was searching for help with raising my boys. I have three boys aged 10, 10 and 4. I have struggled on how to raise them in this crazy world and not feel like I’m ruining their lives because of my feelings of failure. I am an only child and both parents have passed so I feel like I have no one to turn to. This podcast has helped me so much to feel like I’m not a failure and it has given great ideas on how to connect with my boys on an individual level. I love the topics and guests that are on these episodes.”
Mamabecki - thank you for your review. I feel so humbled and grateful to be a resource for you to help you overcome your struggles. I can tell that you are an amazing mom because you were searching for help, because of how deeply you worry about your boys, and because you are intentional about connecting more with your boys on an individual level.
And to all my listeners, please know that I welcome all your comments, including your suggestions. If you have specific parenting concerns you would like me to address, please reach out and let me know. I’m here for you!
So this week’s episode is going to be a little different. Just this past weekend I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Utah Coalition Against Pornography (or UCAP) conference. It is the largest conference of this nature in the country. So you can imagine some of the biggest leaders in the movement against pornography attend this conference. So I took the opportunity to connect with many of them and ask a handful of presenters and other leaders and attendees one question that I believe will be beneficial for my listeners.
They weren’t prepared in advance for our conversation so their thoughts, which I recorded and will share with you today, are completely spontaneous. So the question that I asked each of them was, “What is the most important thing parents need to know about pornography?”
I love the variety of their answers and hope that something they say is an answer for you and your situation. Some of the people I spoke with recommend attending a UCAP conference in order to become educated, which I think is a fantastic idea!, but obviously the next conference won’t be for a while, and even then it may be impossible for you to get there. So check out utahcoalition.org where they post videos of many of the conference sessions.
The first person you’ll hear from is Pamela Atkinson. She is the Chair of the UCAP board and a powerful force for good in the world. She has been an advisor to three governors, is an Elder in the First Presbyterian Church, and a tireless advocate for the homeless and refugees. And here is what she said is the most important thing parents should know about pornography:
Thank you Pamela.
Next is a woman named Vauna Davis, an advocate for educating the public about the public health threat of pornography. She is the director of Reach 10, the outreach & education coordinator at Protect Young Minds, chair of The Safeguard Alliance for the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE), and served as the director of UCAP.
Here’s what she had to say:
Thank you Vauna.
Next is Taylor Chambers. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist and when I went to his breakout session I was so impressed with something he created called the Porn-Resilient model. If you can imagine a pyramid with layers stacked on top of each other. Each layer represents how to help your kids be porn resilient by starting with the foundation which is most important and should take most of your energy, and then working your way up to the point on top, which is obviously smallest and should generally come after the other layers are in place and should take the least amount of your energy. So after he answers my initial question, I’ll ask him to summarize his porn-resilient model.
Thank you Taylor. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I just need a checklist in parenting to make sure I’m covering everything but prioritizing the right things. That’s sort of what I feel the porn-resilient model is, it’s a guide for where to place my energy in protecting my kids.
The next two clips come from conference attendees, my sister Mishel Goodrich and my friend Melissa Gurr. They have both been involved in the movement against sexual exploitation through the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, Operation Underground Railroad, and Empowering the One. Here are their thoughts on what parents should know.
Mishel's and Melissa's thoughts
Thank you Mishel and Melissa!
Now I have Martin Roundy. He has spent many years as a psychotherapist working with adult survivors of childhood trauma. His current life focus is raising awareness of the need for greater trauma-informed perspectives and judgments.
Next is Shasta Knight. She and her mom, Julie Nelson, have created an educational program called Protecting Home and Family and her message is first about understanding the nature of children’s exposure to pornography. Here she is.
Thank you Shasta.
Sherie Adams Christensen is a marriage and family therapist who started an organization called Pre-Empt and Protect for helping parents teach their kids about healthy intimacy. She is also the author of a children’s book called My Body is a Gift from God, Introducing Conversations to Safeguard Children.
Thank you Sherie.
Next is Dan Gray. Dan is a licensed clinical social worker and certified sexual addiction therapist. He is also an author and the clinical director of the nationwide LifeSTAR Network program, which provides help for individuals and couples dealing with problems related to sexual addictions and compulsive behaviors.
Last I have Rhyll Croshaw who is a survivor of betrayal trauma from her husband’s pornography and sexual addiction. She and her husband have used their experiences to propel them forward in helping others with similar experiences through their organization, S.A. Lifeline Foundation. Here’s what Rhyll had to say.
Thank you Rhyll.
So there you go. There’s just a taste of the information and resources that are out there. And some helpful insights that will help you wherever you are on your journey of lifting your kids to reach their potential. Now I’m going to ask you to do something I was asked to do at UCAP. Will you share this episode with ten people? Whether that’s by sharing it on social media, writing an iTunes review, or handpicking ten of your friends to send the link to. The information shared by the experts and advocates in this episode is exactly what many people are searching for.
Thank you so much for being an intentional parent and for the ripple effect you are creating.You, and your kids, are a powerful force for good in this world!
Thanks for listening, and have an awesome day!