episode 13
16:02
Have you ever known someone who despite the overwhelming odds against them, has overcome incredible trauma to lead a healthy, happy life? Every once in a while I meet someone like this and I am always in awe. So what's the best recipe for helping your child be resilient in the midst of whatever they face? Research says, it's you!
In this episode, Taylor Chambers, a marriage and family therapist is joining me. From his experience counseling kids and families he has created something called the Porn-Resilient Model. His perspective goes beyond prevention, into helping families thrive in the face of pornography. At the end of the episode he tells a very inspiring story of a family he’s been working with and how they are overcoming a struggle with pornography and are on a path to success. Taylor has a lot figured out so listen in!
shownotes
I met Taylor at the Utah Coalition Against Pornography Conference earlier this year, and was so impressed with his workshop I attended that I asked if he would share his insights with all of you.
From his experience counseling kids and families he has created something called the Porn-Resilient Model. His perspective goes beyond prevention, into helping families thrive in the face of pornography. As you listen to him share his model, imagine the shape of a pyramid. He will describe the different layers of the pyramid that build on each other to create porn-resilience in our kids. The bottom layer is where most of our energy should be, and the top layer is essential, but hopefully less time-intensive.
So often I have given presentations about pornography where I define the problem for the audience and all I give them for a solution is “talk to your kids”. So now it’s time to go the next level and give you specifics about HOW to talk to your kids, i.e. what to say and not say, and where to focus our porn resilience efforts.
At the end of the episode Taylor tells an inspiring story of a family he’s been working with, and how they are overcoming a struggle with pornography and are on a path to success.
Taylor has a lot figured out so let’s listen in!
----------
Conversation with Taylor
----------
I hope you feel as empowered as I do. I’m not scared to be a parent of a teenager anymore! Yes, there’s going to be tension, but that’s part of good parenting and raising our kids. And of course these principles apply to parenting any age.
I loved how he said that when you’re trying to prevent your child’s exposure by putting filters in place and monitoring their media use, just do pretty good. That does not need to occupy all our time and be the foundation of our relationships! Again, that’s why the porn-resilient model is in the shape of a pyramid.
So remember, the bottom layer is building relationships - this is the fun stuff and the discipline of parenting, on top of that is preparing our kids with essential education and helping them develop decision making and other skills, then managing media (i.e. having filters in place - monitoring software, etc.), then navigating exposure.
Remember our brain is a muscle and we have the great opportunity to help our kids develop and strengthen that muscle.
We only had time to discuss in depth one of the 6 effective parenting responses he outlines (plays in the playbook), but I highly recommend checking out the other five on the handout he created about each one.
Thanks for listening, and have an awesome day!
Brittany